Appetizer Cheesecake

Far as long as I can remember, big holiday meals meant one thing in my house. Appetizer Cheesecake. 

What is appetizer cheesecake you say? Well honestly, I don’t know. It is neither cheesecake nor is it necessarily an appetizer (we used to always eat it at breakfast time on Christmas morning). All I know is that it is an insidious little dish that gets inside your head and makes you yearn for it.

As a child I HATED it. I distinctly remember tasting it the first time and wondering how my entire family could be eating this goop that tasted like fish, or vomit, or vomited fish. Over the years however, I would force myself to try it again. Then again. Then again. Until suddenly one Christmas morning I woke up and it wasn’t Santa I was looking for… it was the creamy, salty breakfast/not breakfast food that had become a staple many years ago.

I realize I’m not doing a great job on selling you on trying this recipe right now and I’m ok with that. I wouldn’t want to go out of my way to make something described as “vomited fish” either, but I SWEAR this is one of my favorite things in the world now. I am unsure if it is really that much of an acquired taste or if it was just my undeveloped kiddie taste buds that made me hate it so much at first. If you make it, maybe you can tell me!

As far as the recipe is concerned, all that i have to go on is this water stained recipe card. It is just a list of ingredients with no other instructions. That sounds about right as my mother mainly cooked from the heart and not from the page, but with her no longer being around I am left to simply guess at what comes next.

The ingredients are somewhat difficult to read so I have written them out here below as well:

6oz crushed cheezits

1 cup cottage cheese

1 cup sour cream

1/2 cup stuffed olives

1/2 cup celery

1 small onion

1 small green pepper

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon worcester sauce

1/4 teaspoon paprika

cayenne to taste

I crushed the cheezits in a food processor and then used them to line the bottom of a tart pan. It serves as the crust. I then added in all of the other ingredients into the food processor and blended until smooth. Add this mixture into the tart pan to cover the bottom crust layer and that is pretty much it! Just put it in the refrigerator for an hour or two and allow it to firm up. Then, eat it on Ritz crackers and enjoy!